Theatre Songs (Demos)

by Jessica Law

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about

Some very low-tech but hopefully still charming demos (with lyrics) of musical theatre songs written for Oxford University Light Entertainment Society, a group devoted to performing silly comedies for charity. The following songs were performed in the plays Gentlemanly People Doing Gentlemanly Things, The Little Mermaid and Why, Jeeves?.

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released May 1, 2011

Jessica Law, OULES

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Jessica Law UK

"A collection of intriguing folk songs, packed with expressive lyrics, strange rhythms and creative instrumentation." - Ocelot Magazine
"A light-footed waltz though old-time folk music with arcane language to match." - Nightshift Magazine 2011
"Packed with emotion, surprise and wit." - The Daily Album
"Strident and seemingly inebriated." -Nightshift Magazine 2013
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Track Name: Jessica Law - Separated Song (Gentlemanly People doing Gentlemanly Things)
Grizzlington

Time and time again I spend my time
Under the thumb of louder men than me
But now I'm free to be free

Ursa

Free to seek adventure and explore
The underbelly of this crumbling town
They know I won't let them down

Grizzlington

Can I find the strength to fight and stay?
Body fails when mind and heart are willing

Ursa

Sir, I shan't permit you to delay
Something great's beginning and it's thrilling!

Susan

Years commanding nitwits, now I find
A man that equals my strategic mind
I wonder what else we'll find?

Annabelle & Cassie

Finding diamonds isn't all that easy
When the planning's up to just us two
We've some growing up to do

Ursa, Grizzlington, Annabelle & Cassie

Though I'm gone, I'll soon be by your side
In your heart and spirit, I'll be with you
Through your fear, my voice will be your guide
Through your doubt, conviction I will give you
Track Name: Jessica Law - Frankenstein and Jekyll: Raising the Dead! (Gentlemanly People doing Gentlemanly Things)
Brown Owl

Come on, my poppet, meet these nice men
Don't be shy, they'll get you talking again
Such golden ringlets, such tender skin
Such a shame, such a waste, shall we begin?

Frankenstein

Ma'am, you came to the right place,
Let's make haste, I'll use electricity
To send her nerves and muscles quaking
Thus making her whole

Jekyll

Sir, if I am not mistaken
You've taken her body to awaken
I intend to set in motion
With potion, her soul

Frankenstein & Jekyll

Watch the glass glisten, see the sparks fly
Sweet galvanism, elixir of life!
Steel in her neurones, brass in her blood
Only the fools use their powers for good!

Jekyll

Will she walk the same and talk the same?
Will she be how she used to be?
And will they ever even notice
That she went away?

Frankenstein

She will walk and she will talk
And that's all they ever needed from a monarch
If they're looking for perfection
Election's the way!

Princess

Who are these people? What's all this pain?
Wire in my neurones and fire in my veins
Something's removing Death's icy claw
I feel like a fish finger starting to thaw

Counterpoint between Frankenstein and Jekyll

Will she walk the same and talk the same?
Will she be how she used to be
And will they ever even notice
That she went away?

She will walk and she will talk
But she'll be so much better than before
The world of science will award us
The highest acclaim

IT'S ALIVE!
Track Name: Jessica Law - Sorceress Song (The Little Mermaid)
Polyps

Turn back! Turn back!
Turn back! Turn back!

Sorceress

Shush!
I can bring you riches
I can bring you looks and love and luck
You only have to say the word
And I can sort it out for you

But every action, as you know
Requires an opposite reaction
If you want this thing to work
I'll need something of high value

Ariel

You can have my riches
You can have my looks and love and luck
But I must have a way to talk
How could he learn to love a mime?

Sorceress

I'm not bluffing, I need your voice
I'm making a solo album
I could use some backing that's not
Polyps popping all the time!

Polyps

Save us! Save us!
Save us! Save us!

Sorceress

SHUT UP!!!
Beggars can't be choosers, my love
This is not a one time offer
If you pass, you'll always wonder
Would it have worked out that way?

Ariel
Polyps
If I stayed here, I'd be squirming Save us!
Think of marrying a merman Save us!
I'll take my advice from Herman Save us!
Take a chance and sieze the day! Save us!

Sorceress
Clever choice, you won't regret it
Well, you will, but I won't let it
Get to me, I'll soon forget it
When I have received my prize

Shoggoth great of untold number
Wake from your eternal slumber
Mighty old ones, lend your thunder
Split her tail and HUMANIZE!!!!
Track Name: Jessica Law - When Two Worlds Collide (The Little Mermaid)
Ariel

There have been three of me
There's an earth, sky and sea me
But was it all worth it?
I need your advice!

Meryl

Water and land are apart for a reason
If you tip the balance
Then you pay the price

Meryl & Triton

And then oh, damn! Two worlds collide
Although God knows I tried
To keep one from the other

I tried to turn back the tide
But I can't get you back now
You're gone like your mother

There's trouble and struggle
And dither and bother and strife
When two worlds collide!

Lady Skye

Summers come, summers go
Seasons and generations
I watch the earth's people
Their loves and their lives

Love has no knowledge of
Background or station
No man is an island
So swallow your pride

Because sometimes two worlds collide
Despite how hard you tried
To keep one from the other

You can't live two separate lives
Because they'll crash together
One way or another

My time on the surface was worth it
I lost but I tried
When two worlds collide!

Company

Because sometimes two worlds collide
Despite how hard you tried
To keep one from the other

You can't live two separate lives
Because they'll crash together
One way or another

The sparks of collision
Are what make us truly alive,
When two worlds collide!
Track Name: What Ho! To All This (Why, Jeeves)
Bertie
D G
What ho to the dreaming spires
D G
What ho to the spring
D G
What ho to the beaming sun
C A
That shines upon my skin

D G
What ho to the cobblestones
D G
What ho to the dons
D G
What ho, good old Anatole

Jeeves (spoken)
C A
Very good sir, let’s move on…

Radicals
G D
What ho to the revolution
G D
Make way for our righteous coup
G D
We’ll strangle the oligarchy
G A
And pass our finals too!

Chorus (everyone)
C
What ho! What ho!
G D
What ho to the jolly morning
C
First rate! Top hole!
G D
We’re chipper and gay!

Aunts
What ho to the lecture halls
Pipe smoke on the air
What ho to the leather sofas
Of our academic lair

Amaryllis
What ho to the snails and spiders
Hawk moths on the wing
What ho to the crannies full
Of things that bite and sting

All fascists
What ho to regimes and orders
What ho to authority
Spode
“Hail Spode!” they will cry in hordes
And all will bow to me!

Chorus (everyone)
What ho! What ho!
What ho to the jolly morning!
First rate! Top hole!
We’re chipper and gay!

What ho! What ho!
What ho to the jolly morning
First rate! Top hole!
What ho to the day!

WHAT HO!!!!!!!!
Track Name: We'd Hug if we Weren't So British (Why, Jeeves)
Why, Jeeves, we are so jolly
Am
I would hug you here right now
Dm
But I fear it would be folly
C E
It’ll have to be a formal bow

[Jeeves, spoken]
I think that would be more appropriate sir.

[Both]
*bow and sigh*

VERSE THE FIRST

[Bertie]
Am Dm
We would hug if we weren’t so British
E Am
We’d embrace if it wouldn’t make us skittish
G Em Am
Since we know what we mean to one another
C E
You’re more than just a friend, you’re like a relative…

[Jeeves, spoken]
A brother?
Am Dm
I suggest we should just smile and nod politely
E Am
Any other way would be gosh darned unsightly

[Bertie & Jeeves]
G E Am
So we’d hug if we weren’t so British

VERSE THE SECOND

[Fascists & Communists]
We’d punch you in the face if we weren’t so British
Your ideology is just plain piggish

[Communists]
Our socialist regime will come to rule you all
When your capitalist imperialist government starts to faaaall

[Fascists]
Fall?!
Just you wait til we start our new regime
(But first we must complete this education scheme)

Suggest communists and fascists nod at each other and join arms

[Fascists & Communists]
So let’s first pass our finals together

VERSE THE THIRD

[Agatha & Dahlia, Gussie & Amaryllis]
We’d kiss if we weren’t so British
If such affection wouldn’t hurt our image

[Agatha & Dahlia]
Oh we know just how we love each other
Not only as your colleague but your lover

[Someone, anyone]
Woof!

[Gussie & Amaryllis]
We go together like a tadpole and its tail
One day we’ll be ambassadors to British snails!

[Agatha, Dahlia, Amaryllis, Gussie]
So we’d kiss if we weren’t so British

VERSE THE FOURTH
[All]
We’d hug if we weren’t so British!
And as the day at last draws to its finish
We’ll say “what ho!”, we’ll shake hands and we’ll tip our hats
As when all’s said and done we are just jolly chaps

[Dahlia]
Or chapettes!

[All]
All our lives we live in cold formality
To keep ourselves in comfortable normality
So we’d hug if we weren’t so British!

[Bertie (sad face), spoken]
But we are, so we shan’t.

[Jeeves, spoken]
Very good, sir.
Track Name: If The World Were A Newt (Why, Jeeves)
Amaryllis
D
Isn’t it strange how newts have a way
G A D
Of growing new limbs when they’re taken

Gussie
D
And isn’t it strange how hearts have a way
G A D
Of growing back when they’ve been broken

Amaryllis
D E
Like the larval stage beginning
Em D
When tadpoles start swimming
D E A
There’s a metamorphosis inside my soul
A7
I feel whole

D
If the world were a stage
A
We’d be the lovers
D
If the world were a page
A
We’d conjugate each other
D
If the world were a newt
G A D
You’d be the crest, old pal

Gussie
Isn’t is great how newts find a mate
By waving their tails ‘til they vibrate

Amaryllis
And isn’t it naff how humans are daft
And only find love when it’s too late

Can’t you stop these spires from dreaming
And scheming – and screaming
I just want to hibernate and hide away
‘Til the day

Both
When the world is a stage
And we are the lovers
The world is a page
We’ll conjugate each other
The world is a newt
And you’ll be the crest, old pal!